I’ve often seen articles with such a long list of wedding must-haves, that it almost makes me feel anxious & I’m long since married.
When I was in my twenties I started to organise a holiday with my then boyfriend. During the planning, my sister & her friend somehow wrangled their way onto our holiday & before I knew it, I was organising a 3 week train trekking tour through Europe & beyond. My sister & her friend then dropped out of the holiday. So now it was just back to the two of us, my boyfriend & I going on holiday. We literally raced (he was on a tight schedule & had to get back home a week sooner than me) by train all the way through Europe & into Yugoslavia & it was there we wondered how had we ended up in this place, when all we’d wanted was a short flight to a week in the sun.
All that racing around made it a pretty miserable holiday but it did teach me a lesson & that is – not to get diverted by other people’s plans. Decide for yourself what it is you want & it will be easier to stick to your guns.
I’m still learning but I’m better now at recognising when I’m being diverted away from my original intention or plan. People usually mean well but when they’re offering ‘advice’, what they’re really often doing is describing how they would do it for their own wedding or party or whatever. And you are not them.
So, I’d say:
• Decide what your priorities are, not what you feel is expected or what your friends did or what someone on a forum recommended. Unless you have an unlimited budget you’ll probably find it difficult to do everything you’d like to do. But the good news is that when you stop & think about it, you’ll discover that you’re not really all that concerned about a number of items. There’s no right or wrong & each couple will have their own “must have” list.
• For instance here’s our own wedding spend breakdown
o 25% Venue
o 20% Photographer
o 17% Flights & accommodation on honeymoon. €k’s spent while there not included in calcs.
o 7% Bride & groom wedding rings/bands
o 6% Priest donation & church fees
o 5% Flower girl, pageboy, shoes, bridal accessories
o 3% Bride’s dress
o 3% Groom’s purchased suit
o 3% DJ
If it’s not on the list we either didn’t have it, else it came in under 3% of total spend.
So, my advice is, decide what you both want for your wedding day. If you make a list of things you do & don’t want it may be easier to stay focused & not get distracted by others & their plans for your day.